How to Navigate Your Spouse or Partner’s Job Loss

Do you have a spouse, partner, or friend that is navigating a job loss?

After last week’s post, I received messages from people whose spouse, partner, or friend had been laid off.

Job loss takes its toll on the person who lost their job, impacting them financially, emotionally, and mentally. It can cause stress, anxiety, or depression. It can cause loss of identity, self-esteem, and self-worth.

It can also affect their relationships with their spouse, partner, or family, who may experience stress and anxiety as they worry about the individual and the future.

It can lead to changes in family roles and responsibilities, which might cause resentment or frustration among family members.

Children may sense the stress, leading to emotional or behavioral issues. Financial constraints may impact their education, extracurricular activities, and general well-being.

So, what can you do if someone you care for has lost their job?

1. Understand the impact it has on you and any emotions that come up.

Even though this is their job loss, it impacts you. Perhaps you’re concerned about the financial impact and you’re worrying about paying the bills. Or you see how challenging the job market is right now and you’re questioning how long it might take them to find a job. Or perhaps you’re reacting even more deeply to the impact that a parent’s job loss had on you when you were a kid. Examine how you’re feeling and dig into why you’re feeling that way.

Change and uncertainty can bring up all sorts of things. Feel your emotions and grieve the impact on you, your partner, your relationship, and your family.

Acknowledge the impact their job loss has on you. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings about how this is impacting your partner, your relationship, and you. Practice giving yourself grace and patience.

Doing this before talking about family finances will help you understand any triggers that you may have, so you can remove emotion from the conversation.

2. Keep the focus on them.

Their job loss does impact you, and it’s okay to grieve – but your focus should be on supporting them through their loss. Understand that a job loss frequently triggers a loss of identity as well. If you haven’t lost a job before, you can learn more about the impact in this post.

3. Evaluate the impact on your family budget and agree on changes that need to be made.

Identify how the loss impacts your family budget and what changes you need to make to your spending. Understand their severance package, encourage them to file for unemployment, and determine what your new budget and runway look like. How long can you go without a second income? What steps do you need to take to curb spending?

4. Ask how you can best support them.

Ask them what they need from you as they’re navigating this loss and transition. Ask how you can best support them. Communication is key during difficult times. Don’t make assumptions – ask what they want and need from you.

5. Communicate what you need from them.

Take this opportunity to clarify what you need from them as you navigate this transition with them, for example, communication about job search updates.

6. Practice your own self-care.

Take care of yourself through mindfulness practices. Do whatever you need to move your anxiety, stress, and other emotions out of your body. Choose what resonates with you, such as breathwork, meditation, yoga, somatic work, going for a walk, working out, or creative practices. Give yourself permission to do whatever gets you out of your head and into just being.

7. Be supportive and have compassion and patience.

Be supportive as they find and establish their new routine and encourage their learning & development, the goals they set, their job search efforts, and their interest in pursuing a new career, volunteer work, or freelancing. If they’ve expressed interest in a new career, support those efforts.

8. Remember that you’re not responsible for them finding a new job or career.

You can’t do the work for them; they must do it themselves. Be supportive but remember that you are not responsible for them or their job search. Don’t act like their parent or take on the role of their therapist.

9. Acknowledge the unpredictability of today’s job market.

Spend 5 minutes on LinkedIn and you’ll see just how challenging the current job market is. Resist the urge to let your own anxiety pressure them. This stress can build and take a toll on a relationship.

10. Have difficult conversations when necessary.

Many situations at this time can trigger a need to have difficult conversations. Do so with grace, kindness, and compassion.

11. Recommend they seek professional help if necessary.

Whether job search assistance, coaching, or counseling, encourage them to seek help if they struggle to cope or find their next steps.