How to Grieve a Job Loss

Are you grieving the loss of your job?

I’ve talked to a lot of people recently who are going through career transitions. They’ve been laid off, or perhaps they’re not as fulfilled by their career as they once were.

If this is you, I want to share some advice I’ve been sharing with clients.

This topic is near to my heart because my identity was defined by my career for many years. Working in technology, I was laid off several times throughout my 30+ year career. Each time, my identity and self-esteem took a hit. I finally decided that I wanted to help people in a career that was more fulfilling and rewarding, and I became an Identity & Midlife Architect/Coach.

Anytime you go through a transition in life, your identity will shift. When you lose or leave a job, change careers, or experience any major life change, it’s natural to re-examine where you are, where you're going, and what you want in life.

For those who’ve lost or left their job, especially for those who identify with their career or even define themselves by their career, it can be a huge loss.

Here are specific strategies to assist you if you’re grieving the loss of your job, to help you figure out your next steps:

1. Acknowledge and Grieve the Loss: Losing a job is a significant loss, not just financially but also in terms of your personal identity, daily structure and routines, social interactions, and sense of purpose. You may feel sadness, anger, confusion, denial, bargaining, depression, or even relief, and it's important to move through these stages at your own pace and not suppress them.

2. Reflect on Achievements and Skills: Reflect on your achievements, skills, and experiences gained from your previous jobs. This can help boost your self-esteem when you may be filled with self-doubt. This can also be empowering and will lay an important foundation as you consider your next steps.

3. Explore Your Identities Beyond Who You Are at Work: Consider your identities beyond your professional life. We all have additional identities: partner, friend, son or daughter, parent, child, volunteer. What are your current identities? What new identities might you want to develop?

4. Reframe Your Self-Concept: Develop a more flexible self-concept that includes various aspects of your identity, not just your career. Consider what your ideal life looks like, your passions, and your values. Reflecting on the following can help you build a more holistic sense of self:

a. Dive into what you want across each aspect of life (the wheel of life is a useful tool to support this). These goals should extend beyond your career and include things relating to personal growth, education, and health. Setting and working towards new goals will provide direction and a sense of purpose.

b. Use this time to explore interests, passions, and hobbies that can bring you joy and fulfillment, and make time for them – even after you start your next role. Whether it’s painting, hiking, learning a new language, or gardening, engaging in activities you enjoy can provide a sense of fulfillment and identity outside of work.

c. Dig deep into your personal values and use them in your job search. One of the biggest disconnects I’ve seen is when people have been working in companies or for managers whose values are not aligned with their own. For example, they may strongly value collaboration, but have been working for a manager who encourages competition among the team or with other teams. All of this work can help you broaden your sense of self and discover new opportunities for meaning and satisfaction in your life.

5. Define Your Ideal Career and Company: Based on your experience, skills, and self-discovery work you've done, consider your next steps. Consider your skills and past accomplishments, what you enjoy, and your values.

6. Explore New Career Paths: This is a great time to explore careers that you have been interested in but never pursued. Research potential fields and have informational interviews with people in the field.

7. Establish a New Routine: Losing a job disrupts your daily routine, which can leave you feeling unanchored. Create a stable daily routine to provide a sense of normalcy and control, help you stay focused, and manage anxiety. This routine should balance job search activities with personal development time, leisure, hobbies, exercise, and social interactions.

8. Set Short-term and Long-term Goals: Set realistic, achievable goals to give you a sense of direction and purpose. Short-term goals can include targets related to job searching, skill development, or personal projects. Long-term goals might involve career redirection, further education, or personal achievements.

9. Embrace Learning and Development: Enroll in courses, workshops, or certifications that can help you upskill or reskill yourself for your next career move. This makes you more marketable and helps to rebuild your professional identity.

10. Consider Volunteer Work or Freelance Work: Engaging in volunteer work or part-time projects can not only fill gaps in your resume but also provide a sense of purpose and accomplishment. It can help fill the gap of your professional identity, provide networking opportunities, and potentially open up new career opportunities. It's also an opportunity to explore new fields or industries you might be interested in transitioning to.

11. Seek Out Social Support: It’s important to reach out to friends, family, and professional networks for support. Joining job loss or career transition support groups can also provide a sense of community and shared experience, reducing feelings of isolation.

12. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness practices can help reduce stress and anxiety by keeping you grounded in the present moment. Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, and yoga can help cultivate an inner sense of peace and stability, regardless of external circumstances.

13. Have Compassion and Patience: Be compassionate with yourself and recognize that rebuilding your sense of self outside of your job is a process. Transitioning to a new phase in life takes time and it’s okay to not have all the answers immediately. Celebrate small victories along the way.

14. Get Professional Help if Needed: It’s okay to seek help from a career coach, counselor, or mental health professional, especially if you are struggling to cope with the loss. Professional support can provide tailored strategies to manage emotional distress and plan future steps.

Transitioning to a new phase in life and a new identity takes time and patience. Navigating the uncertainty is challenging, but with the right strategies and support, it can also be a time for reinvention.